The Best Taco Tuesday on the Internet

Living with a vegetarian has turned me into more of an omnivore than I figured I would ever be in life. Truth be told, my diet has turned to about 80% vegetarian (65% higher than I ever imagined it would). While I now consume more tofu and black beans, taco night is a night that I like to include some meat. Thankfully, I have found a recipe that satisfies both the vegetarian in my wife, and the meat eater in me. In addition to the taco recipe, I wanted to share my salsa recipe that has always gotten rave reviews. I usually do things in this order:

1. Prepare shredded chicken and start crockpot
2. (wait 6 hours)
3. Make salsa to consume alongside your Mexican beer of choice while making everything else
4. Make cauliflower ground “beef” mixture
5. Make corn and feta topping
6. Finish up shredded chicken in the crockpot
7. Assemble tacos
8. Enjoy!

Throw all of your ingredients in the crockpot, and 6-7 hours later, you'll have the most tender chicken tacos

Shredded Mexican Chicken

I love this chicken for two reasons: 1. It takes no more than 5 minutes to prepare and throw into the crockpot and 2. You can use it for tacos, nachos, quesadillas, really whatever you’d like.

• 1 jar of your favorite salsa (anywhere from 12 to 16 oz works great)
• 2 limes or 4 tablespoons of lime juice
• 2 tablespoons of your favorite taco seasoning
• 1 or 2 handfuls of chopped cilantro
• 3 to 4 pounds of chicken breast
• Salt, pepper, any seasoning you like to add to your chicken to taste

1. Mix the first 4 ingredients into your slow cooker
2. Season your chicken just the way you like it
3. Add chicken breast to slow cooker and cook on LOW for about 7 hours
4. After the 7 hours you should have super tender, juicy chicken to shred
5. After shredding, stir chicken with the juices in the crockpot


Throw this meat in a taco shell, ontop of some nachos, or inside a quesadilla. Incredibly easy, and incredibly versatile.

My FAMOUS Restaurant Style Salsa

Gulpener or Modelo, just grab any beer and enjoy the salsa.

I have tried to make many different kinds of salsa, and while none of them have really been “bad,” this one takes the cake (or the chip) as the best one. This is more of a restaurant style salsa, so it isn’t as chunky as some may like, but you can adjust the consistency by chopping the vegetables less fine and pulsing the mixture for less time in the food processor.

• 28 ounce can whole plum tomatoes with juice (Preferably not Hunt’s, but Hunt’s will also do)
• 2 small white onions chopped
• 2 jalapeno peppers chopped (I don’t use the seeds, so I don’t take responsibility for the heat level if you decide to use them)
• 3 or 4 cloves of garlic chopped
• 2 to 3 teaspoons cumin
• ½ to 1 teaspoon of granulated sugar
• 2 to 3 handfuls of cilantro
• 1 to 2 tablespoons salt (I eyeball and taste test this repeatedly so it may be more or less depending on the batch)
• 2 limes worth of juice (3 to 4 tablespoons of lime juice)
• ½ to ¾ cup Frank’s hot sauce (I usually eyeball this part as well so it may be smidge more or less)

1. Chop up all the veggies. If you like chunky salsa don’t chop anything up too fine.
2. Add the tomatoes, veggies, seasoning, juices, and everything else to a food processor
3. Pulse mixture until you reach your desired thickness
4. Taste test and adjust any seasonings to your desired taste
5. I’ve found that it tastes better if you refrigerate the salsa for at least a few hours, but it is so good you may want to consume immediately
6. Best served with Tostito’s Scoops!

Cauliflower Ground “Beef” Mixture

Now onto the base for the vegetarian tacos. While it has always bothered me when vegetarian recipes have the word “meat” in the title, I am about to break my own rule. My wife swears by this recipe, and while it has been a long time since she has had ground beef, she says this mixture somehow tastes very similar to normal taco meat.

My wife used a different protein base for this taco Tuesday, so there isn't any pictures, but I still highly recommend this recipe!

This mixture usually yields about 3 cups of mixture, so adjust accordingly!

• 1 head of cauliflower (or 3 to 4 cups of florets if you want to buy bagged cauliflower)
• 1 cup of sliced mushrooms (this can be nixed if you aren’t a fan of mushrooms)
• 2 cups of walnuts
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 tablespoons chili powder
• 1 tablespoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon onion powder
• ½ teaspoon pepper

1. Preheat oven to 350F/175C degrees
2. Pulse cauliflower, mushrooms, walnuts in a food processor until they are ground into a consistency that you prefer
3. Stir in soy sauce and lime juice
4. Add all seasonings to mixture
5. Spread the mixture onto a parchment lined or lightly greased baking sheet and bake for 30 minutes
6. After 30 minutes, stir mixture to avoid over browning, and cook for another 15 minutes

Corn and Feta Topping or Dip

This is everything you need for this refreshing feta and corn mixture

Now that we have the bases for both the vegetarian and non-vegetarian tacos, it is time to add the topping to both. This part of the recipe is inspired by Cookie and Kate’s Sweet Corn and Black Bean Tacos, which are absolutely delicious like all of her recipes.

• 2 cups of corn (fresh sweet corn is preferred, but a drained can of corn works great too)
• 1 cup of crumbled feta cheese
• ½ cup of chopped cilantro
• 2 chopped red onions
• 2 to 3 tablespoons lime juice
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 chopped jalapeno (we don’t use the seeds, but keep the seeds if you like the spice)
• Olive oil
• Salt to taste

1. Add the corn to bowl
2. Slice and dice cilantro, onion, and jalapeno and add them to the bowl with the corn
3. Add the oil, salt, and juices
4. Stir the mixture
5. Add in crumbled feta


This is your quintessential summer taco topping and/or dip.

Assemble!

At this point in the game you have salsa, vegetarian taco “meat,” some delightfully tender Mexican shredded chicken, and a refreshing corn and feta mixture. Also at this point you’re probably sweating a little, your eyes are probably burning a little because you’ve touched your face after cutting 1 too many jalapenos, and there is a good chance you’ve consumed one too many Coronas with lime (or Dos Equis/Pacifico/Tecate/Modelo if we have sworn off any kind of Corona), and let’s be honest, you’re probably too full from the amount salsa you’ve consumed. Good job! You are doing great! You’re also almost done. I think this particular recipe tastes 10x better in hard shell tacos. Old El Paso makes Stand ‘n Stuff Nacho Cheese taco shells that I most definitely recommend, but normal crunchy shells work just fine as well. If soft tacos are your jam, then this recipe works just fine with them as well. Whatever you prefer! Assemble as follows:

1. Fill the bottom half of your shell with whatever protein you prefer
2. Top half of your shell with the corn and feta mixture
3. At that point you can either eat as is, or add some hot sauce to the tippy top of your already messy taco

That, my friends, is the best taco night you will find on the internet. If it is a party of two, you’re most certainly going to have leftovers, but if you’re having tacos, you might as well make it a party. Adjust quantities as necessary, and most importantly disfruta tu fiesta!

- Jake (August 18, 2020)

Soundtrack for this blog: Morgan Wallen Radio on Spotify